i have you.. tats all i need

my life as blank as it is..

2010-02-28T00:05:00.002+08:00

Its been some time since i last posted anything.. come to think of its.. its been close to 2 months.
2 hard and long months. Nothings been great. I think most of this 2 month sucked. Many things happened. FML.

Sometimes i dunno what i want any more. What am i aiming for. At first, i thought i knew. I was all out to sacrify anything. But when the time comes, i find myself holding back. Is it realli anythg? Is it really worht the sacrify? Do i wan to? It doesnt seem the logical thing to do. I think I dun wan to. But how can i enjoy the best of both worlds? Are they realli conflicting? No right? You said they werent. But somehow now.. it does right? to you.

Im sick of guessing. More like tired. Tired of trying to figure out stuff. Tired of explaining myself.

Like i said. This 2 month had been shit. Work is piling up. I quit my part time job. Emerge is nearing. Everythg is rushing. Rush here and there. Trying to squueze out every single drop of brain juice i have. I need a lil more understanding. Concern. Happiness.

I haven been feeling really happy. Not one day since then. I tried having happy-food. They say chocolate makes you happy. No. It only does when you are already happy. It makes you feel happier. But when the dark clouds seems to loom over you. Chocolate only makes you feel more lonely. You have noone but yourself to share. whats the point of eating choc if you are eating it alone?

I always seemed as if i have alot of friends. But come to think of it, how many can i realli share my prob with. I had one. Had? I dunno. Should i continue to share with her? Its seems her suggestions nv helped. I mean i really like sharing with her. And tot she is the only friend that knows and understands. Her words did matter. At least to me. But not to others. Since they didnt view her realli as a good friend. Or one that could give constructive suggestions. They tot her suggestions were biased. Maybe they are. Or maybe the listeners themselves are too baised. Biased against her.

Im a simple grl as i recognise myself to be. If i were a plant, I would probably be the easiest kind to take care of. I dun need a lot of attention. I dun need you there 24-7. I dun buy unnecessarily. I take care of myself. I take console in what i have. I dun ask for more cuz i know being contented with what i have is also a form of happiness. Content. The word i came to live with. but the irony, being there, you nv know what you are missing out. It also impedes progress. So what now?

One problem after another. It juz doesnt stops does it? How do i handle all this? Im already up to my brink. I dun need another problem. So 2 choices. Solve it now. Dun care. Option 2 is tempting but nope. Im rational. I think. Therefore trust me. Its juz another extra hurdle. Ive passed so many. Its juz another. Although, without it life would be so much easier. But since its here, i juz get to get over it.

Random thoughts in life. Feeling emo for no apparent reasons. Maybe cuz of what is said. I start to think alot. I dun even know what it is. I juz know that the nxt wave is coming. I have to prepare myself. Protect myself. The beach im at.. has too much waves now. I need to calm down.
I think if i ever look back at this entry, i wouldnt know what im talking abt. The past is nothing but fragments of memories. I dun need bad memories.

I wanted to make this post private. i dunno how. so forget it.
if you are readin.. good for you.. you juz gt to kno mi better.
if you are not. I dun wanna explain too. Its juz a random post. One that i use to sort out my thoughts and feelings. I dun need to share with anybody.

NATASHA STUDIO JAM VOL 5

2009-12-28T13:30:00.003+08:00

YEAH!!! FINALLY MADE A STEP OUT OUT OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE!!! hehehez.. I dunno what gave me the guts to join Natasha Studio Jam. Perhaps cuz my frenz are joining, perhaps I wanted to try something different or perhaps i juz wanna challenge myself. Before the competition start i kept asking EVERYBODY else to join with me! Hurhur.. in the end still juz mi and weimeng. but its ok! Cuz i finally tasted a BATTLE! omg! hahaha so high and so exciting! First round was good. I was pretty steady. Got thru to Top 8. During battle to Top 4, I totally not listening! I dunno why i kanjiong go out. Go out liao den lost it! arghhhh... no feel at all! I can hear the song inside mi. I cant feel it. Im juz doing my thing with the song playing.. NO FEEL!! Haizzzz.. but still good experience! hehez.. so glad i got into TOP8 too! Its by point system. So all contestants would have 1 min to feelstyle. 8 with the highest scores goes into the knock-out. Yup. Once im in.. i got knocked out. lolx. But when they mention the name thats gt into Top8 that time i super duper shock dao!! I was the first called lah! I din expect to get into Top8. Cuz the ppl there like all very string lor! Even the tie-breaking ppl are all very strong. If even they need to tie break.. kaoz. I sure out. So... realli realli happy. HAHAHAH!!! TOP 8!! Im proud k?! I would try for other competitions next time. Hehez. Hope somebody gt vid down, cuz I really like to see how i did. If i can find, I'll share. =D

Its been a while...

2009-12-21T10:54:00.002+08:00

Yes. Its been awhile since recital ended. Ive felt lost. Like theres no aim, no nothing to work towards to. Everyday is just another day. But im getting used to it. I guessed all i needed was some time. The happiest dinner on earth would still have to end. But its the process that matters, the 'chen jing 擁有'. So im good. Everything else shld go back to normal. Thanks to you for understanding.

Sometimes ppl juz like to dig their own graves. Find trouble for themselves. Im one of them. I dunno. Its like so obvious whats the choice alr. Why am i still like wavering?! I sooo have no determination.. den keep doubting myself. WHY?!! Stop fooling ard with me! ahhhh!

sis wedding in a few days. Its time to get pretty and dolled up. Its time to get busy. really admire those who planned their wedding on their own! omg.. its so time and energy consuming! Looking at my sis.. haha.. sometimes i also dunno how to like help.. lolx so useless.. but im happy for her! After this.. its time for SPAIN!! hope she enjoys herself!

Oh and me too! Im going Genting!! ahaha My first time there!! Woohoo! Its gonna be great!

End of Recital 09

2009-12-15T22:34:00.003+08:00

Its been 2 days since oschool recital 09 ended. Its been 2 days when i last felt realli high and happy. Thanks to Oschool.. esp HUA and HEI that i got this chance.. to be performing on stage.. showing the world what im capable of and enjoying it! What can i say.. dancing is my everything. I may not be good, but who says you have to be good to enjoy doing it? hehezz..

Because of recital, i got to know many great dancers and even greater friends. I truely treasure every moment i have with them. Every practice.. every session.. every night out juz seemed especially enjoyable cuz of their company. Im broke. But becuz i wanna spend more time with them, im willing to take cab home. Im tired. But becuz i wanna be with them more, im willing to stay out late. I stay super far. But becuz i wanna learn so much more from them, travelling is not a problem at all. I juz wanna thank all of them for the great memories. Every single one of them is dope to me. I love them juz like the way they love me.

1. Thanks WeiQi for acompanying me all this while and being such a great fren! Without you, i would have felt so lost!

2. Thanks Huixian for ALL the entertainment. You are seriously a cheerful and cute grl.. oh WOLS as well! lols..

3. Thanks Yingxin for the classic hair twirling and laughters.. haha happy memoriess.

4. Thanks Jeannie, for believing in me and sharing ur dance knowledge. The cypher was fun and it sort of made us closer.. hehez.. thanks.

5. Thanks Fion, for being such a sweet grl. For braiding my hair during recital and trusting me to teach you the choreo when you missed lessons. lolx. I dun even know if ive taught the right thing!

6. Thanks Jeremy, for teaching me all that i kno. Be it dance or life.. youve been a great teacher! Sometimes i feel like you know so much more den me even thou im supposed to be older. (wasted my few years of life haha) Thanks for sharing those inspirational vids, they are realli some motivation!

7. Thanks Luqman, for being laughter to the crew! HAHAha! you and ur pork jokes.. never fails to bring that laughter on my face. lols.. and your classic "Dui Lor Dui Lor" "You all chinese.. DIE!" hahaha.. Funny lah! and not forgeting.. you were the first who taught me something since i joined recital.. you taught mi body wave.. i still rmb.. during the first meetup. And theres only you mi and jeremy! lolx Thanks nigga man!

8. Thanks ChaoZhong, for all the cold jokes! Sometimes realli quite... erm.. lame till i bui ta han huh... nevertheless.. at least some form of entertainment! lolx nxt time dun say too chim wan. if not huixian would go "huh? what?" haha. Thanks for the Tshirt too! ahaha Too many people telling mi its dope liao.

9. Thanks Jiarui, for encouraging me in my freestyle. Actualli i quite no confident that day during that cypher.. it was my first and i super scare.. in front of so many of you pro ppl.. haha but thanks for encouraging me and ur advises.

10. Thanks Weimeng, for treating me really like ur dajie! haha trusting me to give you advices.. even thou i felt i din help much! hehez. Sometimes i find you realli cute! will hug on to ur bag when you hungry and tired... haha.. and dun shy k?! we would go celebrate your bday!! ON 20TH FEB! see i really rmb!

11. Thanks Winson, for teaching me what is perseverance! I realli admire your hardwork! Carry on learning and one day you would be dope!

12. Thanks Jonas, for putting in so much effort till you faint! haha.. pls take care of ur health! not sleeping is NOT HEALTHY! not eating is NOT HEALTHY! Above everything else, health is the most impt! Take care alrights?

13. Thanks XueHui, for the ultimate dope choreo! Without you there would not be heihua! Thanks for letting us look so good on stage! Ive learnt much thru this recital and definitely would not forget this special memory! And we haven go for heihua dinner yet!

14. Thanks Xiaohei, for being my idol! haha.. because of you. I wanna be a so much better dancer! inspired by you! Thanks for the choreo. Thanks for the advises. I LOVE YOU!

Recital drawing NEAR!

2009-12-03T01:22:00.002+08:00

Its less than 2 weeks to recital! and we are so not ready! We really need to train.. like pia all the way now! I dun wan any regrets!! Go! Go! Fightin! I know all of us can do it! We juz needa focuz more!!!

Thinking back juz a month or so.. haha feeling kan jiong abt the audition.. finally got thru.. den excited with being accepted into hei's choreo.. everythg felt so yesterday! woo! im so glad i step out of the comfy lil club into the big big world! To realised that you are so small.. but even more so... to realised there's so much to learn!! It excites me!! seriously! You would stop progressing once you think you are dope. But if you keep a humble mind.. theres always more and more to learn. The more you know... the more you feel you dun actually know that much.
I felt that through recital.. I have grown both in dance and mentally. Of cuz. FRIENDS!! I have made so many good fren thru this! I wish the performance NEVER come! so we can juz keep continuing this.. lolx.. Yes! FRIENDS are OH! SO IMPT! they make the whole thing more meaningful! of cuz.. there are times where friends dun play a positive part in motivating you.. thats when you focus on dance.. dun let the few minority affect how you feel towards dance! LOVE DANCE! not juz the people. when you stand on stage.. people ultimately only sees YOU! you represent urself. If you choose to give up. it would only reflect on you.. not ur fren. SO JIAYOU! Lets do this for the love of DANCE!

although quite sad that we missed the "Opening-Item" title... still! JIAYOU!! We can make it thru!
Wanna do a Thank-you list.. but i guess i shld do it like after recital right? haha like more appropriate! I LOVE HEIHUA!

2009-11-27T01:37:00.002+08:00

Was talking to dear just now on the phone.. realised.. humans actually do very similar stuff with very different feelings/motives. We can all write an essay with a same topic, but the content, plot, setting, everything would be so different. Of cuz. No one would be wrong, its juz what we want to achieve. A top class student would be upset with himself for getting a grade "B", while a normal or lower stream student would pray and kneel to get a least a "C". Neither of them are wrong right? Differing objectives.

To me, dance is the same way. People can dance leisurely, competitively or commercially. It shouldnt matter to anybody what that person wanna acheive right?! I mean.. if this guy juz wanna dance for fun.. den you can force him to go competitive meh? or if this person wanna achieve something in dance.. can you say he is too ambitious? Its the SAME!!! juz diff perspective!! we all love to dance.. if not why are we sweating buckets, spending money, wasting time?! I COULD HAV PUT THE TIME & MONEY INTO BETTER USE RIGHT? of cuz.. sometimes it gets annoying to have lethegic ppl when you have aims and goals.. or have super enthu ppl keep pushing you when you juz wanna dance. thats why. Find people who share the same with you! First Step to Organistional Behavior: Establish Common Goals.

When i dance, i wan to achieve everything that i can and more! Its about moving forward, about putting in everything you have to acheive the best. If i dont put in all that i can now... den wait till when?? When im 30 and loaded with work? when im 40 and worrying abt family? or when im 50 and stricken with poor health? I already started late.. all the more i should put in double effort to achieve what i want. and competition is a form of exam.. its to prove urself. its like even if you dun win.. you get to know where you stand. why study study study but have no exams.. its kinda meaningless. you dunno if you really get it. of cuz like i said.. there are ppl who enjoy pure moments of dance.. they have no need to prove to anybody. BUT to me. I wanna know where am i. Where i stand. I wanna understand that and move on. go further then where im standing. because i love dance. its juz like wanting to know ur bf better! of you like sombody.. you dun juz stop at flirting right? you would wanna know what he likes.. what he do..
ok.. bad analogy.. forgive me.

still remembering the start of danzation. Nobody wans to commit. Only Po, jernice and me. But we were determined! we wanna achieve something!! we even said that even if SIM cant be part of it.. we would go ask every other tertiary sch! go ask one by one.. if they can let us in their item. There was the determination! And im not losing it!

vid from jer that really gives meaning to dance..
its always dance before style..
dance for a reason.

2009-11-19T23:52:00.003+08:00

OMG!! I JUST SAW A SUPER DOPE SHOE!!!!!!!!!

SUPER DOPE RIGHT?!! and its wmns!! means no sizing error!!! omggg!!!

So you see how excited i am?!! BUT

I know i not gg to get it... hur.. cuz i juz bought an AF1 white.. not that i regret.. that shoes is a must-buy.. but juz.. if oni this wan comes with it.. hahahaa...

Die.. im officially a shoe addict. Eh..i think counted bah.. i like to see shoe and go gaga over them but no money to buy? so i suffer like the after effects.. juz like drug addicts... hahaa.. omgg.. still cant get over the shoes..

ok.. nono... i need get heels! Spot this Aldo black plain open toe heel.. i like.. hehez.. maybe wear for sis wedding.. BUT! muz wait.. cuz Aldo will have year end sale! so perserverance! CHRISTMAS SALES PLS!

Recital is coming!! so excited! Friends who are interested to come support pls buy tickets NOW!! they are selling FAST! can contact mi if you wan.. Recital is on 13 Dec 7pm. Juz hope that i have some supporters lah.. if not everybody go down stage meet their friends and family.. I'll be the only one!!!! And if you come.. bring flowers k? WAHHAHAA..

omg.. the shoes... *faints

boring daysssss

2009-11-17T15:42:00.003+08:00

HARLO! EARTHLINGS!

I feel like i living in my own world and cut out from frenz, shopping, news, and everythg else that matter. I oni have 2 places to go! HOME or DANCE. Let me spell out my schedule

Mon: Home 24 hrs
Tue: Home morning, Dance evening
Wed: Home morning, Dance evening
Thu: Home 24 hrs
Fri: Home 24 Hrs
Sat: Dance morning, Dance night
Sun: Dance morning, Home evening

yeahhh how happening!!! WOOO! I LOVE MY LIFE!

Recital trnggsssss!

2009-11-15T23:03:00.002+08:00

Holidays are here! and im PACKED!!
no... i didnt have a plan before the end of exams.. it juz didnt happen this time round. You know.. like everytime while you prepare for exams you would always discuss.. "eh after exam we go this this this...""we go there there there.." no... this time round its like pure mugging..

anyways im packed with dance lar.. i think i dance 3-4days a week.. i kno thats v little compared to those poly students who dance EVERYDAY.. i realli wish i could.. but as you get older.. things in life starts to have different priorities. I want to dance but whose gg to give me the money? I want to dance but can dancing feed me? I wanto to dance but do i have a future with it? Aiya.. as you get older.. you will know what im talking abt. I have a life to worry abt. Thats why im contented with every moment now. Trainings may be tiring, but if i dun do it now (in my holidays), when can i? And its going to be an experience thats memorable. Rushing for the last train after practice, waking early next morning again to the same place. (I might as well camp there, and we are going to! when dates draws nearer! lolx) Travelling to RP, NYP and all the other Ps to meet and train.. some time when im old. Its a proud story im gg to tell my kids. "Your grandma last time HIP know?! Dance dance wan ar!" HIP HOP YOU KNOW?!" it probably wont be popular anymore.. maybe its gonna be like Beatles to us.. old school and so un cool. BUT IM HIP AND I KNOW IT!

ok.. my special consideration gt rejected. At first its like kinda sad. I really dun wish to spend another $1300 for a carelessness.. its not like i dunno how to do the paper! if i sit for it and fail.. ok nth to say.. BUT!!! ARGH!! ya... but as it drags.. you start to not wan to think abt it. Its the speck of dust on ur life and you would juz "aiya.. juz let it be there.." kinda feeling.. i know... i shldnt.. OK! im gonna get my appeal done tml!! its the last push!! RMIT PLS LET MI RESIT!! (but i nv even sit for it the first time. why do they call it RE-sit?)

2009-11-05T20:48:00.002+08:00

IM SO DUMB!!
OUTRIGHT DUMB!!

Im so sad and so affected...
I forgotten how many times i cried today..

I ACTUALLY GOT MY EXAM TIME MIXED UP!!
How can it happen to me? how?!
Ive always praised myself and been proud that im a good student. I passed 2.5yrs in Uni without failing any of my subjects. Without needing the use of special consideration. Sometimes i even look down on ppl who depends on SC cuz they din study. But today. I had to ask around for help on how to apply for SC. WHY?!! WHY?!! WHY Me?!

Imagine my surprise when i got to school. thought i was early. Held on to my notes while i stroll up level 4. Then i see familiar faces leaving. Why they leaving? I heard them talk about the paper. I kan jiong. Quickly grab one of those familiar face.

"Why you guys leaving?!"
"huh.. exams finished already."
"HUH?!! I TOT 2.15 PAPER?!"
"no. 10!"

damn...
i felt so lost. so lost. realli lost.
Called Travis. cried. He helpped alot. He calmed mi down and told mi juz to stay where i am while he ask ard. Called Wei Lun. cried. JiaHui Called. cried. Both of them helpped me alot. told me to go see doc, told me what to say. Where would i be if i have no friends.

So the rest of the afternoon is going around printing SC and looking for docs. $75 spent. 2 docs. No MC. Moderate implication. I guess i'll just have to try my luck. I juz wanna re-sit. i dun ask for anythg else.

I hate myself.
Inside out.

Busy Busy Life

2009-10-18T22:48:00.002+08:00

Im left with 2 weeks to go.. yes! 2 weeks before JUDGEMENT DAY! Revision is slow.. but i would say on track. Hopefully i would be able to quickly finish revising and start practising!! Esp for BF man! Im alone on that.. somebody help me. Anybody care to join me in studying in NP?

I seriously think my brain is useless. I cant remember anything for goodness sake! Not studies.. not dance.. yup not even dance! Its like for something that i love so much yet i cant rmb it!! ARGH!! IRRITATING! i need practice practice practice!!

AND AND AND!!! OMG XIAOHEI IS DAMN DOPE!!!
I love her man!! she is darn cute!! ahaha some of her reactions when teaching class.. lolx..
I totally love her choreo!
But somehow juz cannot catch the angle.. the attitude.. the lines.. the feel.. the steps.. ok i think im not catching alot of stuff.. WHY?!!
I wan more time to dance lah.. I need more money for classes lah.. I wanna session lah!

Today's recital trng i saw CHERYL!! so glad to see her! Haven been able to meet her for sometime.. haha seeing her do so well in her class somehow happy for her! =D
But when its my trng time... hmmm.. i cant catch choreo... =(
i think thats why i got a erhem position.. sadded.. i wanna learn the choreo!! its like so darn cool lah!! but.. i cant.. ='(
ok lah.. jasmine.. any position is still dance! do your part well!! You are already lucky to have a chance on stage! jiayou jiayou.. train harder and you will be better!!
YES!! FIGHTING!

UP UP!! I WANNA LEVEL UP!!!

2009-09-26T22:23:00.002+08:00

CLASSIFIED ADS

Position: Study companion
Duration: whole of Oct - Mid of Nov
Frequency: EVERY WEEKDAY
Time: 10am - 6pm
Venue: SIM Libary / NP Library
Remunition: MY company..

I think i realli need to put this up.
Cheryl is not in SIM anymore. JJ is busy with her own life.
Whose free to study with mi?!!

complicated

2009-09-22T23:49:00.003+08:00

Sometimes when people and people come together, its not as simple as it may have looked anymore. You may be good friends with your BFF for couple of years, but when you realli get to know this friend.. you know the flaw that exist inside too.. den you decide.. hmm shes not good enough.. You may be lovely dovely Couple with your bf.. but how well do you know him actually. You may love your siblings and know that shld anythg happens, you would always be there for them.. also there are days you realli feel like they were nv born. Things happens.. relationships are complicated stuff that needs patience, management and lots lots of effort.

Understanding another person maybe the easiest formula to managing relationship, that is, IF you are able to understand that person. How often do we ASSUME that we know when it turns out otherwise? How often do we use time as a guage of our understanding of the relationship? As i said, relationships are complicated.. its an effect of everythg that happened.. and a cause that made everythg else different. Understanding one may take time, but time without effort is useless. But so often so that we take eveythg for granted, "I'll get this present for my gf! She'll love it, I'll be such a good bf, she wuld love me." When she does receive the present, "Thanks dear, i love it" and brushed it off with a smile. Den you blame her not not being appreciative enough. But is that what she realli wanted? Do you realli understand her? You thought you did. Of cuz, on the other hand, does the grl understand the feelings he had for her while getting the present?

And den, communications becomes hard. Language is amazing. One sentence can give so many meanings, interpretation become a hard chore.. so we assume! Thats where problems comes in. What is said, may not be what is interpretated. What is interpretated may not be what it is meant. With our little vocabulary, we try to get our message as best across, but sometimes a step of wrong word choice lands us in... deep trouble. "No, thats not what i meant!" "But i heard you say it! You said XXX!" You did say it... now you cant take it back.. boo hoo.. too bad.

When two persons come together, things become complicated. Now, lets all take a step back. Look at the bigger picture, imagine how things would be for you if you were to switch roles. Putting yourself in others shoes is always said, when was is actualli done? And yes, even if you might have accepted that the situation may not look good on the other side too.. den.. are we willing to compromise? Understanding muz be followed with action. All talk is pointless.

Do you really understand your love ones?
Have you put yourself in their shoes?
Think about it.

And stop decieving yourself.

Bday Celebration

2009-09-19T23:05:00.007+08:00

Why do we have to go thru school? Why cant ppl juz do what they like and get on with life?
It cost $35000 to get my name on to that lil piece of paper.. and god knows if it helps..

I hate projects.. I know it may have been worst if im in UOL.. so im not regretting.. but i do regrets some choices..

some ppl juz dunno how to take a break.. get a life..

their world revolves only ard school and nth else, so they expect the same from you! They look down on others and wouldnt give them a chance.. adding the load of those who are left.. yeahh.. if you think you so good.. why need a group? juz tell lecturer you one person can alr lah.. forget it.. everythg is ending soon..

Cited from a fren.. If only grades are based on how often you dance..
I guess we all share the same feelingss..

Oh.. and some updates from my Birthday celebration...

Key to freedom..

Surprise... blind folded..
Shopping Spree with dar

$150 worth..

Semi formal Jacket, Comfy Flats, Rock Tee, Preety $10 Top, Mphosis Mesh bag, Damn cheap $8 Vest and Mphosis slipper.

Lashess lovesss

Mini pics-update

2009-08-30T14:47:00.004+08:00

ok.. im doing a min picture update.

Dar's bday like passed only a week ago.. bought him a pair of adidas shoes..

I din felt that i made it special enough for him.. cuz its doing the normal stuff like celebrating with cake.. eat dinner.. i even had to go sch and dance on his bday.. spending half of my day without him.. but still i hoped he enjoyed it.

Anyways baked a cake for him at Mag's house. Cuz i have no idea at all abt cake baking! Thanks Mag for letting mi make a mess of her house.. and helping of cuz!

Beatin the eggs.. =)

Original look of the Cake.. Choccc...Haha.. ugly workmanship of mine...Wahhh.. really quite ugly.. haha i did my best!

Hope he likes the cake lah... i woke up like early morning to go do lor! Although he said the Bakerzin's cake nicer already.. -.-" but.. eh how can compare.. this is made with heart! i think next time i shldnt do anymore hands-on..

Oh.. and i have labelled him as mine alr!

Haha.. i din abuse him hor.. itss juz his skin like super easy pop out wan.. like fingernails juz gently go across.. 5 mins later.. there you go.. lolx

no 21st!

2009-08-26T21:27:00.002+08:00

I have decided already.

Although with much reluctance...
haiz*

IM NOT HOLDING A 21ST PARTY........

sadded
saddeded
saddededed
saddedededededdededededededed!!!!

I actualli wann hold it in a chalet.. even checked out the price alr!
Its a bargain ppl! $79 for a double storey paris ris NTUC chalet!
get it if you are holdin your party k? =(((((((

Anyways.. i really wanted a chalet.. cuz rather than a function rm that could only last till 10pm, i wanna be able to spend time with my frenz.. interract better with each grp. function room party is juz not enough for me.. so yar a chalet..

den i checked the buffet.. OMFG!
its like darn ex?
not to mention i think i have alot of friends? if theres 30 of them..(not alot considering dance ppl) its like min $300!
expense for the party would be frm my pocket.. so.. its abit too hard on me..
includin the cake, it would be close to $500 at min... =((((

so yarrrr
I DECIDED!!
NO PARTY!!!

its better if i take the money and spend it on stuff i like...on paying bills.. rather than living my life like what its now... forever in debt.. forever no money.. right?
I hope i made a right choice. Although im reluctant. You kno... 21st.. once in a lifetime!
Next yr if i hold a party.. its would be weird right? 22nd... not special anymore.. and its a good opportunity to meet all my frens.. AHHhhhhh!!!
nono... no regrets... jasmine... party is juz a luxury you cant havee..
but like all luxury.. its dispensable!!
yar yar... 21st isnt that great... its overrated... dun get faked!

whateva..
im sadded.

2009-08-15T23:57:00.000+08:00

I dunno whats wrong with my FB these days. IT acting up like a spoilt brat, refusing to do what i want it to. No videos, no pictures, Only after screaming at it(f5) for a few times does it show me able a couple of pics and would go back to its stubborn behavior soon after.

Had a mini celebration for Vic with his frenz yesterday. Gave him a lil surprise, hope he likes it. I realli love this guy alot, sometimes i dun even know why. Juz feel like i wanna share all my love with him and for him. Want him to be part of my every step, every breathe i take. hurhur.. chessy i kno. This Sat is his birthday. I juz want him to feel special, cuz he is to me.

Dance today. Felt so good.
If only everyday is dance day.
I m aching from training.. but somehow this ache felt good. haha. i think im turning psycho soon. But the ache actualli remind mi that i had such fruitful day.. dancing till my muscles stretch, doing every move with strength and gusto! haha..

i skipped class today. I hate Sat class. Sat=Dance! Sat=/=Class! Get the rule right!

2009-08-03T23:51:00.000+08:00

It felt good after a run.
Sometimes you juz need to sweat it out.
Take time to not care a single woot abt anything else.
There are so many things that is boggling my mind.. yes. Small as it is, it still needs to multitask.

School has started.. which means projects, lectures, books. I need to work.. at the same time allocate time out for school. And if i spend too lil time on work, i need to worry what am i gg to live on for the other half of the month. My classmates have all bought their books, or at least printed.. but im not included. I cant afford it for the moment.. but doesnt mean im not serious abt sch! Project meetings are all held before and after class, taking away precious time i can take to work.

The only time i can really not think abt every other troubling matter is during dance. Bt they had to take it away frm mi too. Classes have been changed to every Saturday, but i wanna go dance! Guess i'll juz have to attend Class B lectures on my own. For dance.

Did i mention i hate projects?
OK.
I HATE PROJECTS!
I HATE IT!!!

H1N1

2009-06-28T21:42:00.002+08:00

Im stucked at home.
Sick with high fever and diarrea..

Saw the doc.. hurhur.. he asked me to be very careful since there are a few cases of H1N1 starting out with fever and diarrea, but these cases are realli little and not common. Whats more i haven been to any infected countries or met anyone thats sick. So i guess im pretty safe. Right?

Its juz that the headache and momentary cold/hot symptom is taking toll on mi. I have no appetite yet i have to force myself to eat 4 times a day! so as to take my med. -.-" who eats 4 tmes a day?! even the normal healthy me dun eat 4 times a day! everytime i try to eat.. the food juz taste bad.. and i cant finish.. such a waste of food lor.

Did i mention that the med are realli realli disgusting? i kno no med in the world taste good.. but.. taking it juz makes mi nauseas! esp the powdered wan.. -.-" eew..

_____________________________

MJ passed away at the age of 50. Heres my tribute to him. He would always be an inspiration to many dancers. He may have created the Moonwalk.. but many people know too little abt him. Have you seen him lock? pop? He is the dopest!

I love working.. ya right..

2009-06-20T11:53:00.003+08:00

Work Work Work!
Woohoo!! i love working... or i seem to.. looking at the no. of jobs that i have taken up so far.. lolx

Lets see..

Tuition (on going since last yr)
Harvey Norman @ Expo (during exams)
Food Fest @ Expo (After exams)
Tuition coordinator with startutors (presently)
Robinsons Warehouse Sale @ Expo (1st wk of July)

Yeahh... within a short period of 2 months.. 5 jobs!!
told you i seem to love working..

But still.. days are hard..

new semester means new textbooks! -.-"

so if anybody has got any job lobangs.. let mi kno ya?

Anyways speaking ofbeing a tuition coordinator..
if anybody is looking for tutors pls contact me!! Confirm intro you good and reliable ones!
If you are a tutor, register with us at startutor webby. Make sure you fill in all info and write a short description abt urself. It realli helps coordinators to "sell" you to the parents.

-----------------------

Dance..
Had a new instructor.. Xiao Hei.
She is the dopest!
realli like her style.. and wanna thank her for the technic trainings. although tiring, (after 15min ppl are alr perspiring crazy) I can see the club growing with her! woo!!

Selection for new president is coming soon. So glad the other candidates also share my passion for dance. At least i kno the club would be in good hands. New leaders will lead a new era. Hope things changes...

Exams results-sem4

2009-06-04T21:58:00.002+08:00

Yeahhh... I passed all my subs!!

HAHAHAHAAA!

Marketing Comms- DI
Service Quality - CR
Adv mktg and App - CR
Biz Ethics - CR

so worried i will fail... hehez..

Sunshine after Rain

2009-05-28T14:08:00.004+08:00

Its all sunshine after the rain.... I love Sunshine =D
thou not iterally.. weather these days... its like.. argh!

I been looking forward to holidays. But as when im having holidays now... it didnt seemed as good as i had imagined it to be. I planned to have outings like ktv, badminton, rollerbladin, bbq etc etc.. but it seems everybody else is busy.. and wat else can i do but to stay home. finding work aint easy as well. i wanna keep myself free so i can still have a life and yet work to sustain my "life" i had.. so i can oni take up temp events jobs.. but im beginning to think if its wise.. temp job means less money.. less money means less "life". its contradicting. period.

i have plans... plans for the club. But sometimes feel pressured. What if i cant do it well? what if i dun get support from ppl? It worries mi. But yet felt that i cant juz sit by and do nothing.
Ever since i joined, i felt that there was a prob with the attitude of the club. To most ppl, dance is a form of leisure. There is no aim, no goals. But that to mi is pointless. I always hear ppl toking abt being a better dancer, wanting to go out and take part on competitions, but its all talk. Who really takes out money, take out time to go for classes? who really asked to go for competitions, want to be part of it even if it means sacrificing other stuff? at least not many of us. There is a handful of cuz.. i see them seeing the same as mi. We have the same direction. That is bringing the club to a higher level. Not juz saying, not juz a proposal to the school. Bt realli doing it!

Like i said. I have plans. The club now is not a CCA. Its juz something whereby if you are free, you come, if not, its ok. No. CCAs arent like that. There shld be a minimum attendance. And you dun juz come for 2 months, finish a course and thats it.. dun dance anymore.. no..
Once you are a member... you are a member.. you continue coming for trainings and upgrade urself.. it spans for at least a yr! aint that the definition of cca? at least what im taught thru the education system.

There shldnt be a beginner course. Beginner level yes... not course. Members shld move from level to level after they joined. Not do a course of 2months and disappear. Only that way can we be better and better.

so....
step 1: Abolish "course" system and implement cca system
step 2: Trainings increased to increase standards of dancers.
step 3: Expose members to different genres. Not juz Hip Hop.
step 4: Be on competitive level. Members are confident on participating competitions on their own.

i dun even kno if i shld be publishing this... -.-"

desperate..

2009-05-13T00:28:00.003+08:00

CAN SOMEBODY GIVE MI MONEY?!!!!!!

i really wanna dance........................................
really....

argh.. wat a practical world
im desperate....

2009-05-08T22:18:00.002+08:00

Its been real long since i have last posted.. blame it on the exams.
ok.. paper debrief...

Marcomm was i think ok.. thou alot of my fren found that mcq was hard.. i think its was ok.. the prob i had was with the essay rather.. but overall.. i think passable

AMCA passable oso.. thou i dun think it would be good.. im afaid of failing too.. its kinda like those border line case? dunno if i would fail or pass.

biz ethics. Its the worst subject i ever had to study! seriously! who studies what is HUMAN PURPOSE?! Why shld i kno if human is truely selfish?!! i dun realli care of its for a selfish reason that we love or altruistic reasons.. studying this juz put mi to slp. lets juz pray hard for the paper.

Last.. SQ.. 2 days before the paper i stil go work. i kno.. i shldnt have.. but i need the money.. =( thats why couldnt study much.. those day that i had.. i studied from morning to morning.. haha 10am-6am! nv eaten so much MACs before! im so gonna swear off MAc for a month!!

i wanna dance... i wan to bad enough. but not now.. not until i have earn enough. Life is harsh, i juz gotta face reality. Dreams can oni be pursued by those who have the resources to.

while i have no dance.. i juz have to make do with exercising!!! swim.. run.. badminton.. wateva.. you name it! im definitely gg to exercise twice a week.. in order to cut away wat i have gained over the examss.. I HAVE TO! DETERMINATION JASMINE!!!

i need dance..

Almost Lover

2009-04-23T21:54:00.002+08:00

Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget
These images

No

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should have known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

2009-04-19T22:09:00.002+08:00

I dunno what i have been doing.
My life seem to be a lil messy now.. its time to pack
Set things right.

First Paper in another 3 days. There isnt seem to be time for anythg. i have been studying the chapters for like a week or so alr.. yet i kno nothing abt the topic! 20 chapters! its like what the *! i need more time..

dun let exams come so soon.. i haven prepare
but let days pass faster.. i hate to be whr i am now.
I kno.. contradicting.
even Im confused too..

Sometimes its hard to not drift. I juz do not have what it take to keep up.
Cant change the way things are juz because of my problems. I only Hope they understand. I dun wish to be different, i wanna be part of this. BUt i cant keep up.

Dun make mi spend money anymore..
i dunno how to refuse sometimes..

My Love will get you home

2009-04-05T22:26:00.001+08:00

My Love Will Get You Home - 溏心風暴 (Heart Of Greed) soundtrack [TVB series 2007] - Christine Glass

If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home.
When there's only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home,
Boy, my love will get you home.

2009-03-22T00:25:00.002+08:00

Im finally feeling that lil bit of stress for exams. Its not good. i should be more stressed out! Only that way do i realise the urgency and importance of the situation.

JASMINE SHOULD BE STUDYING!

Realli quite burdened with some stuff lately. Beginners class. Performance. Project. i mean projectsSSS. cuz 4.. so ya.. 4 "S".. school.. exams.. admin stuff... ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

im sick of my blog skin.. but im lazy to change.. -.-"

disappointed with myself for some reason.
i need some determination.

Pretty Pictures

2009-03-16T21:59:00.004+08:00

Some pretty pictures taken during Open house.. Thanks to the photography club.

Credits to Szekiat and Andrew (if im not wrong)

They realli take very nice picture.. some how got mi interested in their passion. haha but i'll nv be able to afford the camera.

2009-03-08T13:39:00.001+08:00

Artistic Merit Award...

I guess its better than nothing.. at least i kno i have done my best for the team

Adrenaline

2009-03-07T00:35:00.002+08:00

Ever get that rush of adrenaline through you.. it eats up your everythg..
i felt that 15mins ago.

alone in the bus...
i was thinking...
the crowd cheered... we walked in.. give it all our best...
dum dum tat.. dum tat... the music played through my head..
everythg that we have worked hard for was in that moment.
we won... we cried.. we hugged.. it was it...
the face on ryan when we msg him.. the look on everybody...

i feel a sudden gush of blood flowing thru mi everywhr!
my legs, my chest to my head.. it was overwhelming..

i need this.
its not a want anymore...

life been boriing

2009-03-02T13:22:00.003+08:00

have been wanting to blog.. but juz dunno abt wat.. updates on my life is pretty boring cuz my life is juz abt dance.. bf.. sch..
everyweek its juz sch.. den dance.. meet bf.. its so mundane.. =( i need smthg.. but dunno what...

danceworks is coming in another 5days.. this is the final countdown.. i dun wanna sound pessimistic.. but like what ryan says -what make us think we can win? choroeo? strength? nth actualli.. for everythg there is someone sure to be better.. hence we can oni hope that on the whole we can be better! i wanna win this..

dad is out of job alr.. 10months isnt realli a short time.. but i guess its time mi and bro learns to be independent. i need a job. i need time. a measly 180 cannot feed mi for a month. what shld i do now?

Valentines Day!

2009-02-15T01:14:00.003+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVEYBODYY!!!!

Hope all if you had as much fun as i had today!

singles or attached.. treasure all that you have

Thanks dear for the present! im realli super touched.. im prepare to forget all the unhappy times.. and oni focus on wats nice from now on!

Sis's Engagment

2009-02-05T23:44:00.003+08:00

My sis have signed the paper that would change her life.. oso my life..

The Cert of Marriage.

Im happy for her of cuz!! so glad she has finally found that someone she love and would love to spend the rest of the her life with. Its not easy for 2 persons who have been strangers before to come together to form a family. Knowing Eric and my sis.. im sure they would be happy!

I have grown up under the care of my sis. My sis is my mum, my dad and my teacher altogether in ONE! Yes! She is that great! My mum and dad would be working and my sis would be the one changing my diapers... making me shit after eating and clearing my "tum pui"! haha.. how mani 6 or 7 yrs olds can do that?! she would pretend to be the teacher and at the age of 5 i already know that rain comes from clouds due to the heating from the sun!! We would play riddles in the bathroom, guessin it wrongly means a bucket of ice water down ur head! There are happy times and not so too... rmb my sis canned mi 9 strokes of the cane on my palm till it was blue black.. because i did nt do the assessment book and each book = 3 strokes.. lolx

Even as we grew up.. my sis still looks after mi and my bro alot alot alot.. putting our interest before hers.. even when she is broke to the point of nothing to eat.. she would spare that last few dollars to lend us knowing we are juz as broke.. she is a very family person.. thats why i kno Eric is lucky to have her and that they wuld be happy togethr.

All in all.. i love my sis so so much.. i dunno how to express this love.. but im very sure that i would trade my life for hers anytime.

But its going to be so lonely without my sis with mi.. in the roomm.. i just need her presence

Home from Farrer Rd

2009-01-23T01:56:00.003+08:00

i cant believe i walked home from Farrer Rd!!!!!

Hur.. my legs are like aching now lah.. tml sure muscleache!!!
Alr aching frm the new shoes.. and to think i still had to walk home in the middle of the night at like 12 midnight!! ALONE!!! lucky dar was talking to mi on the phone.. if not i sure freak out a every narrow roads and eerie looking houses..

Ah.. but worth it lah.. was at first sad that oni Cheryl mi and Ken gg for dinner.. but when the bus reached NP busstop we saw SK! ALEX! BECCA!!! Ahhhh.. suddenly so excited.. haha they were not looking at all! so mi and cheryl was like frantically banging on the bus door! the bus was packed by the way.. so there were like alot of ppl looking at us! lolx.. sp pai seh now.. thinking back.. haha we muz have looked idiotic..

so when for dinner.. drag drag till like 1145! rushed for bus but missed it! it ws the last busss!!! aiyo... so had to walk home lor.. haiz..

so happy my shoe finalli arrived!! thanks dear!! i love it!! its dope! worth waiting for 1 month lor! hahaha... so happi!!

project grp mate..

2009-01-17T00:02:00.002+08:00

the feeling is kinda back again..
school has started for like 2 weeks alr.. but i feel like im not blending in well enough.. juz like how it felt 3 semester ago.. when i first set foot in SIM..

might have started cuz of the lil split in grp and more of others are joining.. its became somewhat a gathering of many not-so-close-ppl.. rather than a few very close friends.. so everybody's attention is diverted to fit everybody else.. so there will be moments when you feel like you dun belong.. like everyone is talking.. but not mi.. dunno.. maybe i ku-pi...

it din help that i have business ethics (BE) alone.. the rest all exempted.. i have got no friends there! i need a project grp.. but everyone is alr in their own grp.. i dunno where to start... sitting alone attending lecture for 3 hrs is not fun at all.... i dun even kno whr to go for break..

dance is the oni comfort i take in.. at least i kno i have friends there.. but SIM is an education institute afterall.. not a dance school.. i cant be dancing all the time..

would anybody group with mi for BE?

Sickk...

2009-01-08T13:25:00.003+08:00

Haven been feeling well these days..

First it started with giddy spells during trainings.. but i got eat before gg! im guessing its low blood.. or due to my aunty visiting..

Den i started to have running nose.. feels so paiseh ah-chooing consecutively in the quiet lecture hall. borrowing all the tissue packets i can... at night its even worst.. dunno which side to slp on.. cuz my nose would get block on one side.. den keeps running on the other.. =(

Now its developed into a fever!! oh brother... do i feel bad.. -.-"

I must be allergic to Notes and lecturess...

Danzation 08

2008-12-21T03:19:00.002+08:00

Its Over...
Danzation 08 was a big bang and i totally enjoyed myself..
if you haven seen mi.. i have been smiling from ear to ear in the performance..
thru Danzation i have learnt alot..

- Of cuz the first is learning to choreo.. it may not be good but at least this is the first step to something... and with the first.. the second comes easy.

- Learning to enjoy dance for the first time. its always easier said than done. Ryan always tells us to dance with ur heart and not ur body.. but its thru NRA dancers that they taught mi dancing its not all abt having the dopest choreo or hitting the perfect timing.. but the crowd and the company. with supportive crowd.. the most retarded moves you think you have would have been the dopest.. with the right company even boring choreos are enjoyable!

- Friends are not bounded to ur little social circle. Thru Danzation i kno like over 30+ new friends... in a week! there are like 100+ performers and most of us see each other for the first time. but dance is a common language we share... so everybody is a friend!! we talk.. we share jokes.. juz like that! no need for intro or any reason to wanna kno each other..

- Support from friends are like so SO SO impt!! without my friends i wouldnt have come this far. Still rmb the time when oni mi jernice and po is so determined to join Danzation.. we DiE DIE oso muz be part of it.. and its this determination that we are finally part of it.. and recognised! Having to do a stage production for the first time.. alot was new to mi.. im glad i could rely on my friends.. special thanks to meishan.. bangzhi.. alex.. becca.. even thou they wun be seeing this.. i realli wanna show my appreciation.. =)

- Lastly.. NV PUT UR CAMERA ON TOP OF THE TOILET ROLL DISPENSER!!!! its prone to accidents like dropping on the floor and cracking the LCD! freaking shit lor! damn... shits happen at my brokest point! how to repair?!! and the cam is not mine! argh!!

oh wellss.. material stuff.. im juz glad i enjoyed myself in Danzation 08!

danzation 8

2008-12-19T00:56:00.000+08:00

IT FRIDAY TOMORROWWWWW!!!!!!

new hair style.. doll fringe!

2008-12-14T23:41:00.002+08:00

new look for the event!!
went msia with xiangtian.. JJ.. jer and others last friday.. wanted to get costumes de. in the end oni did my hair den nv buy anything!! such a wasted trip! cant get anythg in spore lor.. where are all the collar shirts?!! green tops?! i needa get costumess!!! cheap wans!!

anyway.. as i said... did my hair.. coloured it.. but wasnt satisfactory leh.. the colour not bright enough.. looks like i din do at all.. cut it too... the cut was ok.. new look anyways.. glad i was brave enough!! haha.. decided super long before cutting this hair ok?! and it turned out pretty well.. hehez.. look forward to it bah~

wanted to do cornrows actualli... but it was too ex!! per strand $2o leh! i dun have so much money to throw into doing hair lah.. i alr spent alot on hair liaosss... so guilty!

fridayy!!!
5 more days oni!
shit...

danzation.. exam results..

2008-12-07T20:04:00.003+08:00

AH!! Danzation is drawing so near!!! so fast!! so soon!!!
scare.....
we haven been cleaning steps.. haven finish the choreo.. haven done alot of things!!! AHHH!
realli scare can?!

the butterflys are fluttering inside mi!
no time alr!!

took out my solo part and put daryl in! lolx.. i suck in puppety moves!!
haha but none the less.. its still impt cuz i still gt choreo! and got dance too!
now i dunno how to do formation for the NRAs sia...
pls dun throw everythg to mi alone!! i freaking cant do formations! wat more 32 ppl on a single stage!!!

got my results alr... i expected to faill.. luckily nv! but i din do well either.. its all kinda scrape thru kind... i got..
1 pass
2 credit
1 high distinction

and my pass was like 50?!! i think the marker pitied mi.. but thank god for that.. i dun wanna retake one more sem! i alr got 1 more den others alr.. juz cuz im from JC so unfair..

so tired...

2008-11-28T13:34:00.002+08:00

ahhhh....!!
i dun wan late nights... its so bad for health.. skin.. hair.. shape.. =(
been going home at like a.m. lately..
wed night yings bday surprise.. reach home at like 8am!
thurs night trainings.. reach home at 3am!
ahh!!
think i gg to fall sick soon! late nights are so heaty..
boo...

you're neglecting ME!!

2008-11-18T21:44:00.002+08:00

its the same... with or without.. whats is the diff?

i though there shld be a balance.. forsaking one for the other juz isnt right.. it migh be temporal.. but think abt the forsaken.. its juz selfish that for something.. the other have to sacrifies..

it juz feels the same now...

End of exams!!!

2008-11-11T14:11:00.004+08:00

END OF EXAMS!!!!
yeahhh!!!

finally exams are over after struggling for a month.. know i wont do so well this time round.. but who cares now?! i shall enjoy my holidays! dance dance dance dance dance!!!! cuz i oni have dance now..
no tuition
no school
no date
oni dance
oh and my house chores! hahaha

Danzation
Finished like almost half of our showcase alr! so glad... i kept worrying abt not being able to finish on time.. but thanks to all the dancers.. haha they realli helped alot!! i din kno how shld the transition and formation be.. glad they step up to help..

im feeling more and more responsibility on mi for danzation. firstly, i lias with the NRA regarding big and small stuff like costumes, meetings, trainings wtaeva.. den i was part of the choreo team. Doing choreo for the first time.. now i have to do solo! stress.. i seriously dunno how to do stagartto style like robot or popping kind.. and i have to do it alone!!!! scare.. seriously scare..

danzation mean so much to mi now.. its a stepping stone thats like 2m high and being 1.54 mi have to jump and climb up..

although dissapointed.. i know you have ur reasons.. so i juz have to be the understanding.. bite my lips and live with it..

oh! SP waves pictures!!

Secret - Nice Song

2008-11-09T23:03:00.003+08:00

The Pierces - Secret

got a secret.
can you keep it?
swear this one you'll save.
better lock it in your pocket,
taking this one to the grave.
if i show you,
then i know you wont tell what i said.
because two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.

why do you smile like you've been told a secret?
now you're telling lies,
because you just want to keep it.
but no one keeps a secret.
no one keeps a secret.

why when do our darkest deeds do we tell?
they burn in our brains,
become a living hell.
because everybody tells.
everybody tells.

got a secret.
can you keep it?
swear this one you'll save.
better lock it in your pocket,
taking this one to the grave.
if i show you,
then i know you wont tell what i said.
because two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.

look into my eyes,
now you're getting sleepy.
are you hypnotized by secrets that you're keeping.
i know what you're keeping.
i know what you're keeping.

got a secret.
can you keep it?
swear, this one you'll save.
better lock it in your pocket,
taking this one to the grave.
if i show you,
then i know you wont tell what i said.
because two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.

allison?
yes, catherine?
i have something i want to tell you but you have to promise never to tell anyone.
i promise.
do you swear on your life?
i swear on my life.

you swore you'd never tell.
you swore you'd never tell.
you swore you'd never tell.
you swore you'd never tell.

got a secret.
can you keep it?
swear, this one you'll save.
better lock it in your pocket,
taking this one to the grave.
if i show you,
then i know you wont tell what i said.
because two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.

yes, two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.
yes, two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.
yes, two can keep a secret if one of us is dead.

sadded entry

2008-11-09T01:40:00.002+08:00

Juz back from SP waves 13.

The show was wonderful..
How long would it be before SIM can have our own little concert?
Seeing how bonded the dancers are with each other.. its juz heart aching to kno that this is the last show for some of them.

Went im leaving SIM.. how big would my last show be?
they cry knowing its gonna be the last show.. what shld i do when i might not even have the chance of doing a show? would my exit be as dull and quiet as the previous batch?
i dun wan to.. a simple farewell party is not good enuf for mi..
i wan more den juz that..

when would the time come when SIM is able to gain recognition?
im oni left with another yr.. i dun wan to stop..
what shld i do?
the school sucks.. why cant they put more emphasis on ccas?
im paying so much to the sch.. yet fundings are so hard to get...
why cant they give more encouragements for dancers or even sports?!
when did we ever win the IVP? or how often? winning is not juz recruiting the star players when the competition is near.. but to nurture them from within.. the students juz need that support for them to continue to pursue their passion..

i regret the path i took.. how to turn back time?
somebody teach mi...

im sad... because my brother is sad too...
i love my brother...

Buyer's Behaviour exams

2008-11-05T15:56:00.002+08:00

Im now currently in the school library.. studying... poor mi.. exams' tml and i haven finish like half of it!! die.. but came upon this interesting part.. though i migh tshare it and maybe help mi to rmb it better oso? haha (excuses..)

So it states that the youth Market is segmented into 8 segments:

1. Young Irreverents: set their own fashion trend with an extremely strict appearance code to appear as though they are inconcerned abt their appearance (ironic... -.-")

2. Sportist: are active and take an interest in sport, pasively or actively

3. Sexual Exhibitionist: discovering the sexuality, they are concerned abt the appearance of their body and are likely to spend time at the beach showing it off (!!! LOLX!! they DO know youngsters!! juz check out the no of ppl at hanging out at siloso or post their bikini pics online!)

4. Groovers: Participate highly in night scene

5. Style society: the up-and-coming social set, they dress well, especiall the females, and are concern abt their appearance

6. The Scene: similar to Style Society but less likely to be high brow, prefer the night pub scene to nightclubs

7. Loners: individuals who prefer their own company, spending significant amount of time communicating thru computers (... commonly known as geeks)

8. Fringe Dwellers: do not want to be in this grp and will try to become accepted by other grps, often with lmited success; easily influenced and go to great lengths to be accepted

who says the adults juz dont get it? haha they kno us juz too well! which group do YOU belong to?? haha i believe the groups are not mutually exclusive..

** brackets are my comments not reflected on the book

Exams be over soon!

2008-10-31T18:41:00.002+08:00

Been coping so far so well with my exams.. i guess maybe it juz cuz i oni had one paper!! haha.. 3 more to go.. jiayou jiayou!!

i wish exams would be over soon! i cant wait lor.. -.-"
i wanna dance after exams..
pat tor after exams..
shop after exams...

boo.. exams.. i dun like the word..

ouch

2008-10-26T22:45:00.001+08:00

i think i pulled something...
My knees are hurting....

ouch

.

i hate exams!!

2008-10-24T22:37:00.002+08:00

i feel ive grown alil stronger.. again.. more independent..
exam periods are always like that.. realli dun like it.. i have to go to sch everyday.. spend that $1 go to sch.. sit down and study den spend another $1 go home even though its "holiday period"

and worst.. im always alone.. boo.. some lucky days i get to meet mag and lynn. luckily for them i get to eat lunch with somebody.. talk alil before studying..
days when im alone.. i drag my feets to sch.. i dun like to eat alone! but exam period oso make mi do that! i gotta go early at ard 11.30 am or wait till like ard 2pm.. where there is nobody in the foodcourt den i can go up and eat.. hur.. "Examss... be over pls!"

yesterday had our first session with NRA peeps.. they are realli a fun bunch lor! haha i feel so much younger juz being ard them.. they super enthu wan.. can keep dancing and dancing non stop.. lolx.. overall it was a good time spent dancing away.. except of the flying thing that keep coming into the studio! (those attracted to lights flying thingys) guess cuz it was raining..

anyway it felt realli great when i hear from the NRAs that our choreo was dope.. haha.. like some kinda achievement for mi cuz i choreo most of the first part.. juz a lil sad that the comment wasnt directed to mi.. haha cuz the vice dance cap, who helped with the choreo as well, taught the class.. so everybody was like telling her great job great choreo.. the president after that oso oni named her and another that taught.. totally neglecting mi... boo.. so kinda sadded to not have credited.. but well nvm.. as long as i kno there are ppl who actualli like my choreo can liao.. hehez.. im still learning so there is still alot more chances for mi..

jasmine shall jiayou and be appreciated one day!!!

and ppl coming to the show pls pls pls look out for my item ok?! haha cuz jasmine choreo the whole of the puppet part!!! with editing from daryl.. hehez..

2008-10-20T23:46:00.004+08:00

THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO MY BELOVED...

CHRISTINE TAN PEI LING!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!!

missed the days we were butt smacking... toilet snatching.. scaring the hell out of ying.. though we can never go back again.. at least its retained inside as memories precious to mi.. you are a special friend.. one that i feels understands mi better than myself.. one that i can turn to for advises.. one that i know can handle anythg that comes her way.. you have always been a cool headed grl.. knowing exactly what you want and can achieve.. you kno everything that you are doing and very independent.. but independent doesnt mean that you are a loner.. in fact very popular among friends!! because you always make it a point to make people around you happy with ur jokes and lameness.. we realli enjoy just being around.. where you are!! haha never a bored moment with kris!! at least thats how you are to mi..

You have been a great friend so far.. haha so far oni.. lets see how you perform in the following yr.. will evaluate again on this day nxt yr.. you better score well! enjoy ur day grl...

love you.. now and always!!

preserverance!

2008-10-10T18:23:00.004+08:00

Quoted from inspiration card in Mag's notebook

Amazing People are those who attempt the impossible..

-AND OWNED IT! (added by jas)

suck...

2008-10-07T00:04:00.002+08:00

I SERIOUSLY CANT DANCE!!!

First training with DREAMWERKZ co today... its suck totally... no i mean I SUCK! like seriously to the core!! we (5 dancers frm SIM) know we are slow in catching choreo.. but today we finally knew what Ryan was saying... we are S____L____O_____W____ -.-"

after everybody alr got the choreo we are still struggling with "whats the first step?!" yes its that bad.. i had no idea what was going on.. lost sheep inside lor! 5 of us gt this frown on our face like "what was that?!" the first part although hard to catch.. at least i know what i was doing.. so that we can improve ourselves.. the second part was wack! the instructor was like lalalala.. do his thing and "5mins, figure it out and learn, i rest awhile" see my jaws drop!!!!! what the hell did he juz do??! after catching some of the choreo.. half way into it.. he said guys single hand back flip.. girls piroate(smthg like this lah.. means turning on the spot non stop) for 3 rounds!!! my tongue rolled out of my dropped jaws.. try doing it and you kno how hard! lihai ppl can do 2.. but 3!! AHHH!!! kill mi!!! after that "ok now do a psuedo windmill" my eyes popped out together with the dropped jaws and rolled out tongue... wind millllllll!!! even a psuedo wan is.... not easy... why not put that knife inside mi like now??

damn depressed after the whole training.. considering if i had made the right choice joining.. den i told myself: i joined with the dream of becoming a better dancer, now is a chance i might never get again. imagine how proud of myself i would be if i can do this? knowing its like so difficult but i pulled it off.. i may not be able to kill the choreo, but at least i pulled it off. Exams would be nearing but jasmine will make time out to study too. 1 month.. after that, i can concentrate on doing danzation well, just 1 month. so jasmine, until then, you will juz have to work doubly hard. it mayb be difficult, but if you can do it, you will emerge a better student, better dancer, able to manage both together!! i juz have to believe..

small note to s09 girls, sunday pls dun make mi eat buffet. you guys can enjoy ya buffet but im gg ala carte. pls... cuz im abit tight.. i dun eat sashimi.. dun eat oyster.. so realli no point for mi to do buffet.. so hehez.. ala carte for mi okie? hehez...

dance progresses!!

2008-10-03T14:06:00.002+08:00

i once said to myself i will improve my dance and one day take part in competition..
i believe my dream is nearing!! im seeing progress!!! hehezz.. see the huge grin on my face?

Updates for Danzation

Im so glad my idea was taken! I presented the idea to my instructor and bringing the raw concept, he brought the whole thing to a nxt level! Okie my idea: Storyline of puppets controlled by Puppet masters.. They rebelled and finally were in controll of their master..
Ryan took this and illustrated it so visually i was like "wooah.. and i came out with it!" not realli lah.. haha but you kno what i meant..

started to look for songs.. had a super hard time looking for wat i realli wanted.. cut it.. edit.. join.. finally the prduct!! im so proud i wanna show everybody wat i did!!! stayed in sch with jernice to do some choreo steps.. haha 4 eights done!! jia you jasmine!

Eugene's DWZ invited us to be part of their slot in danzation!!! thats like OMG!! if we are in.. we will be dancing with all the instructors and super lihai ppl!! im so excited! at the same time scare.. dancing with lihai dancers mean progressing at a faster rate.. but oso mean STRESS!! AHH.. i dun care! i wanna UPGRADE!!

this danzation 08 is definitely a big leap, a giant leap for mi. For one that juz started dancing a yr ago.. im alr choreograhping.. having a chance to dance with instructors.. for your info. all these maybe easy for those with alr established dance group.. but SIM dance is raw.. to be given this chance isnt easy.. the previous batch din even had the chance to do competitions.. im juz so happy!

KNowing that danzation is sooo impt to mi.. if you consider urself a fren of mine.. you BETTER make urself free on DEC 19, 20!!! i kno what it means if you arent there... hehez

lovin dance

so stressed out

2008-09-21T10:24:00.002+08:00

im now going thru one of the worst patch my my life, or so i believe. A levels maybe one, but at least during then i know i just had to concentrate on 2 things. Exams and boyfriend. Period. I dun have any cca.. dun have to do house chores... no projects.

Its different now. Everything seemed to be piling up. While wanting to spend time with boyfriend, i maybe sacrifying time spent to do projects. While wanting to go for dance practs, i maybe sacrifying time for vic. Yes yes i kno.. time managemet. Its always easier said right? My projects are due soon.. yes all 4 projects. My exams are nearing. It isnt helping to know that dance pract now would be more intensive due to Danzation 08. The 2 weekends that i have is realli not resting. Its the only days where i can sleep longer but i kept tossing and turning in bed at wee hours like 5, 7 am. eventualli i still wake up at 9, feeling so tired frm the bad slp. I cant help but keep thinking abt dance steps while trying to slp. and its the thing that is keeping mi awake!!

With great responsibility comes great stress. (from 失败的man)

Im in the choreo team for Danzation 08. Its a dance showcase organized by NRA. And reason im in the choreo team? The instructor sort of pangseh us last min. Dreamwerkz maybe growing but to take part in such a major event with no help from instructor seemed abit to much to bite on for us. Time now is such a luxury which we dont have. A luxury I cant enjoy.

I feel so guilty towards my project mates. Although i try to help whenever possible, im still not there for alot of the meetings. Wilson and Shuhui ended up doing alot alot for DC project. The peer evaluation form i evaluation myself as poor. i know its gonna affect my results but juz cant bring myself to put down excellence when in fact ive done minimum for the grp.

AHHH! i need a rest! so looking forward to end of exams.

Nike SB

2008-09-13T22:13:00.003+08:00

Im doing a "Wanted" notice here...

i cant find the shoes i want!! i realli love this nike SB.. but they dun have it in my size! cn anybody help mi find?? i dun mind ordering over internet overseas or wateva.. i juz wan it in size 6 or 6.5.. pls!! realli love the shoes..

WANTED!!

anyway today was the open house performance.. the dance was great.. although we all looked super stressed... haha the weeks and months of trainings wasnt for nothing! im glad the club pull it off! next up.. student week performance (15, 16 Sept @ 1.15pm)..

yeah.. my birthday!

2008-09-10T00:58:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday JAsmine!!
its my birthday.. but im not especially happy..
im not sad either lah.. dun worry.. not so emo.. juz not happy? this yrs' birthday is tooo too busy.. my project still alot not done.. performance is coming up.. need to train alot..
i got no time to celebrate with my frenz.. no time for my family.. birthday still have to have dance training!!! booo~
so busy busy busy.. i need help..

X
dead..

anyway lucky i held a club session as a gathering so wed would not go uncelebrated.. juz hope ppl will go.. i dun wan it to be a lonely bday..

tired..

2008-09-04T23:37:00.002+08:00

im tired...
so tired of what im doing...
piling projects..
piling house chores..
trying to juggle sch, dance, family and relationship is taking a toll on me..
i juz wan a day where i can juz do nothing..

so tired..
but it juz has to gone on..
what choice do i have?

Happy birthday!

2008-08-21T23:22:00.002+08:00

August is pocket burning month! so many august babies.. everybody so free during nov to make babies? why have them altogether in a month?? anyway wanna sent my wishes..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS!!
yes.. to my da jie.. to mi.. my da jie is the model of everything i kno and learn from. from clothes, make-up to principles in life.. she has been part of me.. everywhere of me! haha i grew up with her.. has loved her.. and will continue loving her.. and im sure she loves mi too.. cuz she knows mi better den anybody else! not even my mum can do better.. shes cares alot.. always thinking for mi and my bro.. when i was younger.. she is still the one who dispose of my poo poo in the poo poo pot... lolx.. wonder how would it be like after her marriage? will definitely miss her..
Happy Birthday sis!

HAPPY 22nd to MR Woo!!
lolx..cant divulge my sis age.. but victor woo is 22 already.. old bird! haha for the past 2 yrs and 8mths.. this man has been taking care of mi wholeheartedly.. he may not be one good with words.. but sometimes.. the little things he does juz goes right straight into the heart.. jasmine would be another person if she didnt meet him.(trying not to be too mushy here.. lolx) times when i am down.. thanks for trying to cheer mi up.. when im discouraged.. thanks for motivating.. i may not be the prettiest.. slimest.. nicest girl on earth.. but i definitely love you more den any other.. happy birthday dear...

HAPPY 21st Jerrrman!!!
Jernice's bday falls exactly on the same day as my sis!! she is a great dancer with da hoopers and sim dreamwerkz! sometimes realli envy her for being so small size yet with great moves! she may be small be dun try anything funny.. shes got power like a man! that explains.. JerMAN! haha mi and her style quite similar.. those very gung ho wan.. cannot do girl hip hop shake butts.. lolx.. although i know she wont be seeing this (i nv tell any uni frenz abt my blog) still wishing her happy 21st bday!

(my sis wont be reading too.. so why am i bloggin? hmmm.. not sure.. maybe juz to express my love to all of them!! I LOVE YOU PPL!!)

trainings with beginners been tough.. juz look at all the bruises i get on my kneecaps.. how to wear skirt now? =(

2008-08-17T00:01:00.000+08:00

Thank you.
for the trip home..

lazy..................

2008-08-15T23:30:00.002+08:00

Project to be done:

Review on 8 sources: 2 Textbk, 2 journals, 2 internet source and 2 other preferred materials
compare with the current macshane text on the concept of org. behaviour.
Length: essay of 800 words

HORRIBLE: DUE : MONDAY 18 AUG
DAY TODAY : FRIDAY 15 AUG

MORE HORRIBLE: STATUS: HAVEN START...

nice...

dance lobang!

2008-08-12T17:47:00.002+08:00

juz received a msg from my fren asking if i was interested in external dance events.. its those DnD kind den.. haha its average paying at $150 per head!! for that 3-5mins! haha damn cool right?? the least oso can get $80 minimum. so exciting... realli hope i can do it.. but this kinda good lobang nv happen to mi wan.. haha dunno if it will realli come true.. hopefully!

Im forming my own crew!

2008-08-09T11:30:00.002+08:00

Todays the last day of audition for LIME dance competition. IM SAD!! disappointed actualli... felt betrayed of some kind..

ok on thurs we found out that oni 5 teams are competing.. the audition is on either fri or sat.. so kinda last min.. mi and po realli keen to join.. there is first, second, third price kno?! and we have been wanting to form our own crew since long ago.. so the info realli got mi high!! i went around asking if anybody wanna join.. cuz if wan needa start to choreo alr! got 6 girls.. had daniel stayed back to help us alil with formation.. he was even late for his meeting.. for us!

after he left, 3 girls decided to back out..

i realli trained very hard.. tried to rmb all the steps and formation in so little time.. aiming to do my best to win! in the end we had to give up.. although i know they have other commitments other than dance.. work and all.. i fully understood their position. But still some how felt maybe they shldnt have agreed in the first place.. maybe i was too high.. i shldnt have.. shld have ask if they are realli free and commited.. i regretted for being so high, made po's dream crash..

anyway im gonna form my own crew one day.. take part in competitions.. and advance.. ONE DAY!! VERY SOON!!!

PHOTOS!!!

2008-08-04T23:44:00.008+08:00

I was happily blogging thinking that this was my dance's blog lor! after i view blog den i realised.. had to come back and edit.. haha made mi post up so mani pics! mafan! now i have to repost them on the dance blog AGAIN! anyway since this is here alr..

enjoy!

2008-08-02T18:25:00.003+08:00

argg.. my back is hurting.. still feeling the pain from Thursdays' Hip Hop class.. especially my backside!! there are muscles there ok?! strain of cuz will pain.. but i was so happy while dancing! Haha imagine.. the song came.. i ran into the mirror area started dancing with all my bull strength.. smiling and laughing all the way.. so happy.. only to suffer the nxt day.. lolz.. and the next day after that.. and the nxt.. you get it..

juz came back from Advance teams training.. ooh!! i love ryan's choro lah! damn cool can?!! will try to post up a video once we clean up the steps.. cuz now still very messy.. but!!! serious!!! super cool!! alot of effects! all the boom boom boom! haha abit of lyrical type oso.. first time we got guy grl tagged teams doing carrying.. feel like i shld lose some weight lor.. so to make life easier for my partner.. haha.. and becuz of the tag.. i have a abrasion on my right ab (ok! tummy!) realli quite pain lor.. den needa practice and practice den keep rubbing onto the same place.. arrrgh.. PAIN!!! But can only blame myself for not having the correct position.. =(

still with all the injuries and pains.. i realli LOVE the choro!! i love ryan! he is super cool! ya!!! did i say i love the choro?!! i love the choro!!!

Dance Practice 28Jul08

2008-07-28T23:45:00.002+08:00

After 2 Lessons..

Shit.. i forgot steps!

erm.. i guess this is better.. but so much still needa be improved! all the hits arent strong.. not everyone is together.. my angles are quite off.. boo.. jiayou jas!

Tapei pics again.

2008-07-24T12:39:00.004+08:00

TAIPEI PICTURES in no particular order...

Cool moves by J/K stars

2008-07-18T15:43:00.002+08:00

Cool Moves by Big Bang and DBSK
Enjoy!

Big Bang - V.I.P

DBSK - Purple Light dance pract

There is actualli a MV on Purple Light.. but i guess im more interested in the Dance itself.. cuz the MV got a lot of other scenes that DBSK are not dancing.

dance again..

2008-07-15T18:07:00.002+08:00

im so glad i get to dance again! after the taiwan trip it seemed soo long since i last dance.. like 2weekz? haha long for mi ok?!! juz 1 week i nv dance i feel nua all over.. like all the flesh and fats are loose! so i was a happy girl yesterday! cuz i went for 3hr class!! thou it left mi with aching back and thighs today.. it was worth it!! i totally enjoyed myself to the max! nothing could have been better.. lolx

dance prac are starting real soon! this sat actualli.. and it gonna be the first time we gonna have our own studio!!! yeah!! FIY sim dun have any ok?! we've been practicing with reflection off the glass doors! no mirrors!! its juz recently that sim is opening a hostel along ulu pandan that we can have dance studios! so yeah-ness! seriously!
dance prac would be for student week performance.. so mag, lynn and zg muz come watch alright? hehez..

realli hoping that we could join nra in danzation this yr.. not sure if everybody is willing.. but if we do, we sure learn alot!!

2008-07-10T23:05:00.008+08:00

eating legendary Ah Zhong Mee Sua

In the Jie Yun(MRT)

Mirama Ferris Wheel

Trying out shades while waiting for time to pass at starbucks

Malah Steamboat!!! so hot!

That unfamiliar face beside vic is shiloong! super good host!

3 new haircuts! vic, jas, bao!

Taipei 101! same action as last yr! haha with diff ppl

walking to somewhr... forgot.. but the walk was sooo long.. it was sooo hot!
On the way to yeliou! nice scenery so had to stop the car and take pics!

At yeliou finally after a super long ride!

damn cool right?!

left our names: Singapore Jas & Vic

At toilet bowl theme restuarant!

Back from taiwan.. it was realli tiring thru the 5days. but im glad i had fun!! im sorry to those that i couldnt get presents for.. haha schedules was so packed.. hardly had time for shopping alright! alil on the trip itself..

went to yeliou.. scenery there was ooo so picture perfect!! everythg was like painted! i realli loved it there..

clubbing was totalli different from sgp! they had dancers! 4 super hot girls actualli.. they will wear very little and sexy dance on the stage.. thru out the night we were there the grls put up 3 shows alr.. they oso have bartenders throwing their flaming liqour bottle.. it was realli cool the show!! damn shuai lor their stunts.. at the end of it they will stand on the bartop and pour pure hard liqour into ppl mouth.. you juz have to open ur mouth!

Toilet bowl themed restuarant.. eh realli not very special.. but the bowl everythg is made of toilet bowl shape lor.. will show pics soon.. hopefully!

(lou!! hurry and send mi pics!)

these are the more memorable events lah.. other than these, its realli alot of shopping and eating in different night mkt..

more pics will come!

DWz

2008-06-27T12:25:00.002+08:00

Life been boring.

Went for a talk yesterday night regarding a farm guide job. Its a well paid job i must say. BUT is shld be well paid right?! making us stand in the sun. Talking and entertaining. so its justified. Theres going to be another training on Monday. Hopefully everythg is alright weather is fine and all. im not sure if i shld take the job. Its gg to be all sun and smelly farm. Anyway its sort of freelance, it they need ppl they will call. For a half day tour to 3 farms, around 5 hrs, i will be paid around 90 bucks, i think... shld i or shld i not?? hmm..

finally news that Dreamwerkz might be starting soon! we are actualli still planning. but most likely?? if enough ppl den will start le bah.. since daniel gave the que alr.. hope to see alot more new and active member this sem..
im feel so guilty towards meishan (the DWz pres) cuz i keep pressing her.. haha cuz i can oni send out the emails after she vet thru.. i was like see leh faster see! so that i have things to start doing!! but poor MS is working.. hehez.. sorry lah.. realli wanna start classes asap.. ive been calling her everynight to discuss updates oso! lolx..

Taiwan is finally nearing! all my wait and suffering would soon be 'O'ver! i wanna buy dress, shorts, skirts, bags (big and small), shoes (dunks, canvas, flats, heels), caps, tshirts. hmm thats pretty much everything right?? haha anything i did not include? OH! accessories! necklace.. earrings.. hehez.. EVERYTHING!!! TONG SHA!
Taiwan pls come soon!

Taiwan soon pls!!

2008-06-21T10:59:00.003+08:00

Im so looking forward to the 3rd! Taiwan!! i wan!! haha

trying to save money to go there all this month.. so now im like super duper broke! and it feels bad! i cant buy anythg.. no.. not even if i realli like it.. argh! so taiwan pls come soon.. let mi spend!!! haha..

and i hope trainings in school resumes soon! like so many performance coming up.. arent we preparing?!! boo.. i miss the days we trained almost everyday till like 11 at night.. haha

Outings with Dar!

2008-06-07T17:22:00.006+08:00

The last week it was quality time well spent with dar! we went to places like the animal resort.. and watching singapore vs uzbekistam soccer @ kallang.. oh and oso Bird Park!! haha haven been there for ages!!

Alright we couldnt find the animal resort and it was drizziling.. so dar took out his cap and put it on mi.. haha saying i look like cow grl.. but the place was realli hard to find!! i think we walk for 30-45mins before finding it! seriously.. without car.. im not gg there again!

What pretty crown it has...

i need to tell you.. its throat is HAIRY!! REAL HAIRY!! haha... seriously

although din manage to get any pics for the soccer match.. i realli enjoyed it! haha everybody was screaming "butod!" or something lidat.. dunno wat it meant.. but i shouted along! haha i suppose it scolding the referee? wateva... lolx

Bird Park was cool! the birds! they are naturally endowed with beautiful colours.. some of the colour combi is juz.. woo.. magnificant! the power of nature! ahaha

alright.. this is suppose to be a descendent of the dinosaurs! look at the helmeted head!!

ok.. dar says im in the species of ostrich.. haha cuz i have small brain and big butt

close encounter with the birds (i forgot its name)

Red Birds! i love!! Red that is..

haha my dar so cute.. lolx

wat?! cannot take ur pic?? wanna fight ar? lolx
i dunno wat my right hand was trying to do..

ok this is a weird expression.. its caught in the midst of a wink!
realli love the outings! haha fully enjoyed myself.. Dar i love you!

blading session

2008-05-29T22:42:00.002+08:00

finally bladin session with mag, lynn and kris..
i couldnt wake up today lah! i intend to wake up at 11 de.. but slept till 1130.. and had to rush to bedok to meet kris and mag.. hehez so sorry lah! i slept at 3am last night leh!

anyway made our way down to ecp.. the weather was HOT! HOT! HOT! i had tanlines 10 mins after blading.. lolx ugly tanlines.. kris's sunblock spf50 did not work at all!!! luckily my cap kept my face from the oh-so-horrible-sun!
realised we realli cmi! haha previously we could still blade 2hrs straight with little rest... today we actualli sat at the stone table and chit chat! lolx.. but it was fun!! seriously.. i haven been seeing the grls.. and being able to blade was a plus plus! hehez..

after blading was dance.. at simei.. hmm new environment to mi.. the studio middle got a pillar.. so weird.. but ok lah.. bryan actualli said the choro front i was ok but i always lose it at the floor work.. haha i couldnt stand up fast enough.. even lost my balance.. lolx.. so paiseh..

ok today was a great day!
things going thru my mind...

INDEPENDENT!

2008-05-19T00:02:00.002+08:00

INDEPENDENT!

ok this word has been flashing again and again in my mind.. i have to be independent! well its the word that vic left mi with as he went for BKK.. i'll try.. but i realli realli realli dun like to do things alone you kno?!

well today after ironing that tonne of clothes i decided to prove my independence!!! haha.. i head down to queensway alone to get my contacts.. eh i actualli planned to walk ard.. but it was realli sooo boring i juz had to go home.. how do ppl shop alone?? i think i din take more than 30 mins back and forth! lolx.. i wanted to exchange a shirt actualli.. it was in the wrong size. but i forgot to bring! arh!

tml vesak no dance class!! ah!! im sad!! i wanna go for class! nvm.. as long as i dun have to stay home.. home is B-O-R-I-N-G-! maybe i'll date my bro out.. =D

MIXED!

2008-05-15T23:54:00.003+08:00

such a mixed feeling at dance today.. had 2 session.. one MTV and the other V-pop.. it started out well! i really liked the choro.. and got the hang of it soon... hmm at the end i was ask by the instructor to dance in front of the class with this other guy while everybody looked.. haha quite stress but im glad i did well...

the V-pop was seriously difficult for mi.. i couldnt rmb the steps.. i think out of lik 3 or 4 eights i oni rmb 3 steps!! haha... so stupid right.. so while everybody was moving around and dancing away i jus stood there!! aiyo so paiseh..anyway i was standing in the front row for ur info.. so super obvious! i din kno how to continue.. where to join back.. so i juz stood there!!! ah!! and the instructor was staring at mi! haha juz im juz behind him! so geographical strategically suay lah! haha..

after tat was dinner by myself.. poor jas.. =(

muscleache!!

2008-05-12T21:55:00.003+08:00

ahh.. juz came back from my first lesson at swu.. feels good to be sweating again.. to be dancing again.. haha but today was a little too much for mi i guess.. after resting so long i decided to go for a 3hr dance session! how clever.. haha first hiphop, second JK pop and den followed by girls hiphop.. by the third im quite drained alr.. tried to do all the steps with force and all.. so very tired ar!! serious! my muscles are alr feeling the tingling pian.. i cant imagine tml.. haha surely hurt like hell!!

but im realli glad to be sweating!! haha dunno why.. half way thru though i was alone.. i was pretty happy.. like woh.. jasmine you are working out! one stone two birds! one birddy is jian fei and the other birddy birddy is pract dance! haha had abit of prob catching up though.. my brains needa start working.. memorize the steps!! right.. so tired now i needa sleep.. nitez..

missing my dar

haha.. he self take wan...

caught sleeping! whahaha

made him wake up and take with mi.. hehez..

Money No Enough..

2008-05-11T23:55:00.002+08:00

haiz.. it holiday now.. i wanna do so many things but no money!! i realised im burning a hole in my pockets.. like a seriously BIG wan!!! juz paid 385 for dance classes as s.wu.. den 130 for my contact lens.. these are the needs ok.. so eh.. money spent.. but i guess it pretty worth it? but i have my wans too!!!

i wanna rebond hair.. say 170?

i wanna cut hair...

i wanna bag..

i wanna go taiwan..

go taiwan needa spend.. needa book hotel.. AH!! money no enough

wats more tution jobs arent coming in.. boo!

on a happier note.. look at my nails filled with love! oh so much love! haha

its bought by my darling.. and painted by my sis! haha double love!

Family TIME!

2008-05-10T10:19:00.002+08:00

YEH!! yeah!!! yeh!!! finally im done with exams! haha been mugging for a month already.. anymore will kill mi... so im glad ive finished.. hehez.. to those that are still having theirs exams (yes.. you.. lynn and mag..) jiayou wor!!

Wed was out with family... the whole family and Ahmah as well!! hehez so nice.. its been a long time since my bro joined us for dinner.. hehez.. and found out this realli nice shopping area! haha ANCHOR POINT!! its the place to go man! theres lots of outlets! eh.. outlets as in the cheaper type? like charles and keith outlet.. clubmarc outlet.. billabong outlet(in process)..

NEW PICS!!!

LAST!

2008-05-07T00:17:00.003+08:00

yeah!! ONE MORE TO GO!! and i will soon be done!! den its 'O'ver!!

jasmine jia.. nono.. i dun wan anymore "you"(oil)... eh... ALL THE WAY!!!

so excited.. finalli can do the things i wanna do.. no more sitting on my butt from 10-5 daily.. no more mugging.. it will be dance class.. roller blading.. overseas and so much more! haha.. so excited! omg... lolx

cant believe im gg back to taiwan again.. hope this time i'll be able to see xiao zhu.. xiao gui.. wuzun... lolx.. hope lah.. hope.. so nice to think back.. all the good food.. the good company... laughter and all! i love my grls!!

1more week to go..

2008-05-02T18:08:00.002+08:00

yeah.. finally 2 papers down and 2 more to go.. this is the last week left with 2 papers in one week so all the more i shldnt relax.. but throw in more effort.. so no confident in this sems' paper.. the exam questions are so radically different from what i contemplated.. take for example todays law paper.. every year there are at least one question abt contract which made up bulk of the studies.. this yr.. no contract law questions!! kns..

jasmine pls dun be sick.. fever is catching up with you.. its time to drown urself with water again.. i dun wanna be sick and cannot concentrate on my studies.. or worst still sick still after exams.. thats scary!

i think i kinda decided not to work.. instead take up more tuition or event jobs like pc shows and stuff to earn money so that i can spare more time for myself and people around me.. money can earn anytime.. if earn little den spend little lor.. but time lost with love ones and doing wat you love cannot be recovered... wise choice made right?

weather so warm and hot recently.. tempers can get easily affected i kno.. but spare a thought for others as well...
my sis is sick... hopes she gets well soon

Happy Birthday CHAR!!

2008-04-26T12:24:00.002+08:00

Happy 20th BIrthday to my dearest CHAR!!!
Hope that you love that lil surprise that we had for you...

Had my Stats paper yesterday.. it was kinda more difficult than i had expected.. slightly different from the previous yrs' paper.. but still do-able i guess.. im expecting a D... hopefully but..

after that spent some time with dear before meeting the grls at LOT1.. it been so long since i saw lou.. haha.. bought the cake and went over to char's! so its at the bus-stop i always alight at! haha nv expected it.. it was super exciting! to go quietly into chars house.. den knock on her door.. and BOO! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! haha..

had a filling dinner there seriously! and lots of laughter as well
went over to Harry's for awhile.. overall some quality time spent wit the grls..

ps. sorry grls for being a wet blanket and left early.. hope you girls had enjoyed urself!

studiowu decision

2008-04-23T09:46:00.002+08:00

Wassup people! How have lives been? Exams been up for mi and i having my first paper on friday!!! yayness!(im happy.. im happy.. jas you have to tell urself that) and very soon exams will be so OVER!!!! been thinking wat to do when my papers are done.. well i thought of a few.. since im having like a 2months break.. its oni right to plan so i fully maximised it.. with scarce resources i needa allocate them to fully utilised to fulfil my unlimited wants! hurhur!

1st up!

DANCE!!

made up my mind ive to be independent.. so im going alone! but would still be glad to have company so cuz.. decided that if i wanna achieve something its oni right to put some effort in.. if you kno how i dislike to be alone.. that how much im willing to sacrifies! wats more travelling fares.. s.wu money eating machine.. physically as well.. hoping maybe i be able to get washboards like that.. haha..

-rollerblading

-shopping

-earn $$ to sponsor my dance classes and taiwan trip!

-diet!(this is always ard.. haha but nv seem to work!)

-more tuition classes? maybe..

-spent time with dear

well haven realli tot of wat else.. can give suggestions? hmm i guess most impt i just wanna enjoy my 2months! and dance of cuz! haha..

ps. oh and i love jabbawookees...

NRA Fantasia

2008-04-17T23:39:00.002+08:00

So coool~!! went to watch NRA performance juz now.. oni one word to describe.. POWER!!
hahah thru out the mini kinda "concert" it was simply entertaining..
from the singers to the dancers.. singers included ppl like renfred(campus superstar) and daphnne khoo(spore idol) and alot of students from nra itself.. to be able to sing as well as dance! how mani of us have such well bestowed talents!?

After the 2.5hr(i think) show you just feel like dancing.. moving.. stretching that long-forgotten-its-there-muscles.. realli envy those ngee ann students... I SO WANNA GO BACK TO THE DAY I CHOSE MY POST SECONDARY!!!! i dun wanna go JC liao! i wanna go ngee ann.. go join nra.. and maybe today i would be the one there on the stage.. (sigh* knowing very well it wont happen and that i love my JC frenz.. wouldnt have known them if i wasnt in PJ)

exams pls end soon.. i wanna stretch my muscles.. its been aching to move.. i wanna spend time with vic.. i wanna go oveseas to enjoy.. i wanna earn money to spend..

-esp to s9 grls: hey if you guys wanna go back to studiowu let mi kno alright? i need to satisfy my crave.. lols
and im so missing you girls (not forgetting guy)... haven seen kris char and zg for so long long time... i end my papers on 9May.. date mi!

2008-04-04T21:20:00.002+08:00

i wanna blog... but dunno wat to say.. hurhur...

report collected from the polyclinic today..
HAHA.. i dun have Tellessemia.. or wateva...
hohoho~! thank god..

vincent will be back very soon
mani misses...

Happy stuff + exams.. Boo..

2008-03-30T21:00:00.002+08:00

Yeah.. finally some Happy stories to my mundane life!
ichiban with the girls.. met them up after sooo long.. seriously missing them loadss!! and what was better was eating sushisss!! lolx..

finally went shopping.. although i din get anythg at all.. still.. it was the process that matters! haha.. ive been on a crave for shopping for very long le.. but nobody free to go with mi.. last time i still had my bro to accompany mi.. ah.. i miss my bro.. but so glad i did shopping yesterday! lolx..

Jasmine has grown fat.. its so hard to find a shorts that fit!! why the hell is my ass so huge?! my thighs thunderous?!! stomach oso rounding up.. i shld seriously start exercising..
boyboy! when you coming back? we go dance class together!!
argh! i with my bro was in sgp!

my exams is like before everybody else's but i haven even started studying! while everyone is mugging away.. im looking for ppl to go shopping with! lolx.. im a stupid slacker.. buck up jasmine! you cant afford to fail any module! you cant even juz pass! AIM : HIGH DISTINCTION!!! lolx.. im juz kidding.. a distinction is good enough...

2008-03-20T22:13:00.002+08:00

argh.. i feel like im rotting.. so boring to stay home.. i wanna spend some time with my friends.. lynn mag char kris zg... but they all like so busy.. exams coming for everybody.. so when im free they exams.. when im having exams they are free! how nice! -.-"

whole day stay home dunno what to do.. watch tv use com watch tv use com... boo! i wanna dance! my bones and muscles haven been working! i needa stretch..

oh and my exams time tables out too...
25/4 Business Statistics
02/5 Commercial Law (i dread...)
06/5 Prices and Market
09/5 Management Accounting (i hate!!)

i wanna go roller blading..
i wanna go osch for dance lessons..

Step up 2!

2008-03-14T18:27:00.003+08:00

Ohh!!! Step Up 2 is out and rocking the cinemas!!

Its like the coolest show can?!! everybody show go catch it..

er.. provided you are interested in the dance and all.. if not the story line was wack.. after watching the show i feel so motivated to learn dance! anybody wanna join mi in Oschool for Hip Hop 1 lessons?? lolx..

DANCEWORKS PICS UPLOADED!

2008-03-08T18:30:00.006+08:00

During Practice....
Funny Val...
Oh! Strip tease!!!
On 2 March 2008.. Danceworks

SIM Open House -7 March

Cam Whore In Toilet...

Camwhoring in Mac...

danceworks 08

2008-03-04T23:39:00.002+08:00

DREAMWERKZ

SIM Dance crew

Danceworks 08!

2008-03-02T23:40:00.002+08:00

Yeah!! finally done with Danceworks 08!! Today the showcase of what we have learnt for the past months.. although we did not win.. [kinda expected] but was still banking with some hope..

anyway the dance was pretty hectic with ppl forgeting steps...

but since on my part.. i tot i gave it my all... im happy with the results.. hehez.. thanks to all who came down to support..

Kris... Waterdragon.. Lynn.. Ivan.. Bao.. Serping.. Ming Long.. Wilson and gf.. dar..and the 5 other dance guys..
Of cuz to ALL the dance girls for putting in so much effort and time.. if you have gave it full out.. give a pat on ur shoulders... if not.. wats over is over.. dun worry too much abt it.. this is juz the beginning of our dance route (quote from Daniel.. haha)

Pics will be up soon hopefully... after i kapo the other girls cameras!

Danceworks promo

2008-02-26T00:23:00.003+08:00

DANCEWORKS '08

Venue : VivoCity Amphitheater

Date: 2 Mrach (Sunday)

Time: 3-7pm

Dresscode: Black

For all friends.. pls come down and support us...
be early to get a good view..
Cheer as loud as possible!!
PLS BE IN BLACK TOP TO SHOW YA SUPPORT!!!

my bones are breaking!

2008-02-22T23:21:00.002+08:00

My bones are breaking..
My joints are tearing...
My knees are giving way..
My back is hurting..
My muscles are ACHING!!!!

Trainings everyday from now till the competition date (2March).. everyday i return home at ard 11.. sometimes even 12.. if start earli den yeah.. can reach home at 10? anyway dancing for 3hrs straight everyday is juz soo tiring.. whats more we needa concentrate.. doing ur part well as well as coordinating everything... you guys have no idea what is gg thru our minds ALTHOGETHER.. like dance steps.. expression... spacing.. blocking(where we suppose to stand).. too many things in the second and not even a second later.. change position! change routines.. think again! physically and mentally draining..
but thanks to all the training.. we no longer have to think so dance steps so the front part.. got so used to doing it SSOOO many times.. its now called muscles memory.. serious.. if i try to think i will "er.. shit.. whats next".. but den i come to the conclusion AH! HECK! the music come juz do! haha and it worked!
oh and good news... i no longer have individual prob.. yeah.. hehez.. but on the whole the dance team still VERY POOR!!! we needa buck up seriously.. knowing that out there its going to be a mucch much bigger fight..

recently no time for almost evrything... due to the freq practices... its so hard to have time for myself.. mostly after sch its prac.. i wanna spend time with my parents for wednesday dinner(family day).. but practice... i wanna spend time to dear (sat) but practice... i wanna rest at home on sunday.. but its the only time i can spare to be with dear and i choose to see him.. i wanna go out with my friends.. shopping wateva.. juz hanging out.. but i needa go sch! go prac! stay home finish house chores!!! boo... lifes like that..

2008-02-18T13:14:00.003+08:00

My Bro has gone to China, Shandong for 2 months intern already..
Will miss him..

for 2 months
nobody will tok abt dance with mi...
nobody will entertain mi at night before i feel like slping..
nobody will go shopping with mi..
nobody to quarrel with..
nobody to tok to at home..
....

so much more.. miss my bro alr...
hopes he takes care and return soon..

pics

2008-02-17T01:08:00.005+08:00

The Making of Domokun!!!
Tada!!!
strawberry Cheesecakes! yummy~
Them fooling around with the camera...

OH.. so sorry this was up so late.. i juz got vic's cam.. and the pics are all inside..

domokun!

2008-02-16T00:07:00.003+08:00

Happy Valentines' Day!!!

busy busy on this day.. no not cuz i have a date.. in fact i dun have one (was having dance prac)
but cuz i promised my course mates i would make them strawberry cheese cakes!! i did.. and glad they liked it.. hehe..

doing it really waste alot of time effort and money! the ingredients alr like cost mi $20+.. and the time.. needa wait for like average 3 hrs for every layer.. and the effort! omg.. washing the bowls and utensils.. hate it.

every interval of waiting i would go make domokun.. lolx.. its a small [ok not small.. domokun is huge actualli] monster i made for vic for v-day.. super cute de! and i did every single stitch myself... so proud.. haha.. even if he turn out not so cute but the effort is definitely commendable okie!! was so attached to domokun [since i made him myself] i din feel like giving vic.. haha but no choice... byebye domokun... take care dun let ah vic bully.. will go visit you..

tml dance judgement day.. bless mi...

steamboat @ kris's

2008-02-10T02:10:00.000+08:00

woke up earli today cuz i couldnt slp... slack awhile before preparing to meet the girls at JEC for ah long movie... was camwhoring away cuz i suddenly realised i haven been taking pics since i lost my cybershot phone!!! and the present phone dun have my pics! lolx...

ah long was funny... and as usual i laughed super loudly in the cinema... pls it cant be controlled.. hmmm got to kris place and had our dinner [thanks mama tan!] alil bit of mahjong and cards... walked home from kris place with vic... since its been a long time we had our time together... realised actualli my place quite far!! lolx...

see the grls soon... hopefully...

enjoyed the company home...

dance crew problem

2008-02-02T23:09:00.000+08:00

I selling my house! Its clean and green.. with 3 hill zoom!! Check out my matching pipes...
(i think im beginning to look like him.. lolx...)

After seeing videos of how we started and where we are now.. i muz say dreamwerkz have realli improved alot but we are still not good enough.. standard is oni comparable to secondary schs... to win the compy we still need ALOT ALOT MORE!!!

i realised why i haven been getting scoldings... daniel dun care abt the choro anymore! he wan us to clean up our moves ourselves.. thats not a good thing...
we are abt to finish the choro i guess.. no... no... no... omg! its oni 1.45min! we need to do like 3?!!
shit... by the time i finished to where it was taught till.. im panting like.. like.. i juz finished 2.4! worst den that.. 2.4 at least is slow slow slow.. can control breathing.. repetative movement.. BUT!!!! dancing for 1.45mins is remembering steps.. breathing according to movements.. big movements with ALOT of strength!!! (hence the starting para).. i need improve my leg strength(so so so important cuz im the front and i keep having to bend down).. my stamina and abs! of cuz other muscles as well to carefully control movements... i selling my house... its clean and...

but im having a lil prob with my dance crew... hmmm personally saying she is not very good... juz senior.. she alr in her last yr.. but she got alot of comments.. like she like to say everybody but when ppl tell her she will justify by saying the dance is lidat.. aiyo... of cuz im said the most by her.. haha but no hard feelings juz that sometimes dun like her attitude..
today while we doing something like a skit.. so its pretty relac and everybody laughing away.. juz like everybody else i was giving suggestions how we shld move with expressions and all... i tok half way... realli half way.. i haven even stop my sentence she suddenly came up to my face.. den tell mi abt the dance steps.. i still not doing it right.. ok lah.. not right i can change buti tok half way! den when i stop(everybody was listening) the attention all on mi den she told mi off.. -.-" thanks... not oni was its rude.. its embarrassing mi! boo! ltr found out most had probs with her too.. aiyo...

so looking forward to tml... vic is finally back.. =D
so looking forward to Chu3 where i can see ALL my grls again... missing them so so much

.

Judgement Day 16Feb

2008-02-01T22:29:00.000+08:00

JUDGEMENT DAY - 16th FEB 2008

Daniel has announced that 16 feb will be our dateline... to brush up everything and be at staging standards... which is to say if we are not.. no competition.. SIM will opt out..
im so not looking forward to this..

anyway vic will be back soon.. during this 3 weeks that he isnt here im glad i kept myself busy.. but i couldnt believe i actualli survive... you have no idea wat went thru my life and how alone i felt when there is no one i could pour my woes to.. but i survived.. jasmine is a strong grl.. and building herself even stronger.. im going to get thru danceworks!

i may complain alot.. abt this and that.. but i juz wan a listening ear.. at the end of the day i kno i still have to get over it... random...

pls let tml training be nice and enjoyable... let mi remember all the steps and correct all mistakes...

CNY coming.. glad to finally have a brk from EVERYTHING.. enjoy lazing at home and gather with frenz.. GONG XI GONG XI!!

Who would know?

2008-01-26T23:27:00.000+08:00

26 January 2008 - today 2nd training day.. did not feel unwell.. did not have any kind of giddy spells..

morning went for a short training session with the grls in sch by our own(no instructors).. was being told off many times.. everybody kept reminding mi
"jasmine you are at the front kno... you do any mistake ar.. its gg to bring the whole team down.."
i know.. but my body woundnt listen.. so much so that to a certain point i realli feel stupid and retarded... knowing its that position that is pictured in my head why cant i do it??!! the focus of todays mistakes are all on ME... i dun mind them saying.. seriously.. its the oni way i kno wat is wrong and improve.. but its realli so... depressin.. it seems like im the only one making mistakes..

went for evening training @Osch.. daniel [our instructor] taught us new choro.. im oso not catching up the speed of learning.. and my mistakes became realli obvious.. i was told off again.. by daniel this time.. im not remembering the steps... my body seem to be moving in the wrong way.. it was so bad.. daniel asked mi "can not? if not i have to change ppl" i knod... cuz i wanna try.. but during the course is always difficult.. i kept asking myself if i realli wanna do this? why am i suffering like that? no answers...

my body is now pushed to such an extend that simple things that are taken for granted like bowing my head down to eat.. gg to the toilet.. keeping my head straight.. picking up something on the floor seemed like impossible task.. even slping is painful.. but i would hit the bed and dun care.. im too tired to be bothered by the pain..

i dunno if im keeping myself busy (optimistic) or tiring myself to ashes (pessimistic of cuz).. take for example friday.. i have work from 9-12.. den i rush to class at 2.. after class i go for tuition... when im finally done.. this realli too late and too tired.. thinking that i have dance training the nxt day seemed to be a horror...

whenever i think of training now.. i start to get afraid.. afraid to be said... afraid to make mistakes.. afraid of lagging behind.. afraid of cuzing my frenz to repeat over and over again juz cuz of mi... my frenz say i have to get over all this.. practice and be confident... i agree.. but easier said den done.. when you are not the one infront... not the one being said by ur peers... not the center of focus for mistakes..

i wanna cont but its getting tiring...

.

*i have you.. tats all i need*